It’s been kind of scary the past few months.

I think I’ve overcommitted.
I can’t seem to figure out what I want to do with my life.
I can’t seem to find a job either.
Actually, I can’t seem to find the time to even apply for jobs.
But I also can’t find jobs that I want.
A lot of them are gone . Boo to the economy.
Where to go after college?
Learning to half sleep half write.
Sleep at any time of the day and work at odd hours.

It’s so weird thinking that we have to move on to the next stage of life soon. Adulthood?
I’m not even a senior yet, but this totally preprofessional environment makes me think that if I don’t have an internship, then I’ll never get hired at the best places.

That’s where my thinking goes wrong. Why the best places?
Why do we want to go to the best places? This place seems like… perfectionist’s paradise. They’re all over the place. At the same time, perfect can’t go against perfect. There’s no room for too many perfect people! Anyway, this place isn’t perfect either. Nothing’s perfect.

I don’t know because I’m too lazy to dig through my old entries (they embarass me), but I think that I probably felt the same way during high school when i was applying to colleges. Worrying for no reason. Here we are again, except this time, I’m in college and it kind of seems like this next step defines the next 10 years of my life. It’s true. Your first job matters.

Yet… God provides. He loves. He cares. He knows .
And just because of that, even with uncertainties in my mind and the exhaustion plaguing my body, I’m all of a sudden content.

Why worry about how much $ I’ll make and sleep I get?
He provides.

Why feel so alone and unwanted, especially by the workforce?
He loves.

Why think that the whole world is too busy and too selfish to care about others?
He cares.

Why worry about not knowing my future plans and my life?
He knows.

Wow .
Just like that.

I’m set for life.